As a dedicated NaNoWriMo participant, I’ve been working on my novel. Of course, since I am also a cat, I have found a way to produce a masterpiece without doing a lot of work. I asked my fans to join me on editorially.com and contribute to my novel. Here’s what they have produced so far. (My work is in italics. It’s the really, really fabulous part.)
Your critique and/or additions are welcome. Let me know if you want to be a contributor.
It’s All About Me: A Novel by CFB
They threw me off the couch at noon. That was their first mistake.
Slowly, slowly I climbed back up the back of the couch and settled myself near Thing Two’s shoulder, making sure to poke It subtly with my finely tuned claws, eliciting a cry of irritation that warmed my soul. I nestled back into my still-warm spot, but it no longer had the right depth, the right temperature, and I had to begin my nap anew.
Their second mistake was getting toast crumbs in my butter. They know better than that. I like my butter smooth, crumb-free, and creamy, and it is known. And now, now, they’re going to pay.
I waited patiently, as I always do, until just before first light. At forty-five minutes until daybreak, I took up my position outside the bedroom door and began my warm ups. First, I stretched my paws against the door frame, dragging my nails down the wood. The sound of my claws whispering against oak spurred me on to my next warm up, vocal octaves. I began slowly, my voice but a tiny roar, and then swelling upward, skyward, until my magnificent yowl hit my high note and pierced through the door to their sleeping ears.
A pillow flew through the air and collided with the door. They’d heard me, but what they didn’t realize was that it was just a taste of what was yet to come.
Before I could think about my next move, however, I needed a nap. I do all my best work on the couch.
And it was on that couch that I hatched a plan so great, so incredible, that I was going to need all my strength to accomplish it. Therefore, I had to fortify myself, and my first maneuver was to procure some sustenance in the form of buttered toast. The Things weren’t yet awake, however, and I’d never used the toaster myself.
There’s a first time for everything.
I crept up on the toaster and peered at it from down below. I was going to have to make a leap, a leap of faith, far greater than my usual leap to the couch cushions. I searched around the room and my eyes focused on a step stool.
“Ah,” I thought to myself. “This will make my job far easier.”
I nudged the stool closer to the counter top, but it was no good. It was heavy, and I was lazy. Peering around the room again, I spotted the dog. He was doing nothing. Perhaps I could make him do something, something useful to help me out.
Running to my stash of cookies, I pulled out the least appetizing. I had plans for that cookie, and for the dog. And of course, the toaster. And then the Things. It seems I had a lot of plans.
But, before any plans could be implemented, I needed a nap.
- Refrigerator Cat http://catinthefridge.com/
- L.C. LaBrecque