It’s NaNoWriMo.  You know, National Novel Writing month?  Where humans pledge to write an entire novel in a month?  Like everything else in life, cats have a better version.  My version of NaNoWriMo is held on the couch, hence the improved name NaNoWriMoCo, or National Novel Writing Month on the Couch.

Some time ago, I asked my fans to help me write an opening line for my novel.  I’d do it myself, but I have a really busy nap schedule.

I’ve listed the suggestions created by my fans below.  Vote for your favorite by leaving a comment, or create your own.  Winners will be announced when I get around to it.  In the mean time, I’ll be on the couch.

NaNoWriMoCo is exhausting

  • It was the best of kibble, it was the worst of kibble.
  • “You brought home a dog?” she asked in disbelief.
  • I am going to murder a tin.
  • There were two birds and only one stone cold killer named Fluffy.
  • He was a hunter, a killer. He rid problems for a price. Want that mouse gone? You better have Friskies.
  • They threw me off the couch at noon. That was their first mistake.
  • Call me Ishmael, because my owner figured out who broke the lamp and is pretty pissed about it, so I’m fleeing the country.
  • The human was expecting to sleep in on his day off.  Boots had other plans.
  • He was an old cat who ate sushi alone on the couch and had gone hours without a California Roll.
  • Once, upon a couch….
  • It is a truth universally acknowledged that a human in possession of a good couch and snacks, must be in want of a cat.
  • It’s the story of a lone clawman for hire. A sad tail (hee hee) of rage and craftiness. A traveler on the road to more food.
  • It was a dark and meowy night.
  • I was lying on my back considering whether to tap the human’s hand or extend my claws and swipe deeply.
  • MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! Three loud yowls ripped through the darkness, and I was off to the greatest adventure of my life.
  • 3 am. Silence. Stillness, but no peace for I know they are coming. Slowly I clean the last crumbs of moth from my whiskers.
  • I don’t know who my father was and my mom had many lovers but still I nap.
  • It was the best of tuna, it was the worst of tuna.


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9 Responses to NaNoWriMoCo

  1. Ann Coia says:

    It was a dark & windy night with the cats bundled on the couch. Where are the humans? I must meow to warn them.

  2. Crepes says:

    I vote for “call me ishmael!” get out of the country! GO GO!! Although where you might be going may not allow us to vote, but still, run! – Crepes.

  3. Thomas says:

    I like “They threw me off the couch at noon. That was their first mistake.”

  4. Connie says:

    Ohh.. I like the dark and windy night

  5. oneblankspace says:

    “You brought home a dog?” she asked in disbelief.
    The cat, awakened by the sound of the voice of his favorite human, observed that his least favorite human had indeed brought home that most wretched of all furry creatures to walk on four legs. He observed that it was one of those loud breeds that could grow very large if allowed to remain. He then went and hid himself behind the couch.
    His human spoke again. “We already have a cat, and the cat is not going to like the dog. He didn’t even like it when I tried to adopt another cat before you moved in. I swear, you make the rashest decisions sometimes. Will they take the dog back?”
    She was correct on all four points. The cat did not like it when she tried to bring home a second cat, and the second cat wound up with her sister. And he had spent way too much on the new car and tickets to the football game in Philadelphia.
    The other human replied, “They might, but the adoption fee is non-refundable. And there’s a 50-pound bag of food that he kind of tore into and is all over the back seat of the car.”
    Wonderful, thought the cat. I am stuck with this hellhound until I can scheme up some way to get rid of it.

  6. Tex says:

    “It was a dark and meowy night.” Gets my vote.

  7. Della says:

    It had been thousands of seconds since there’d been food in his bowl, and he just knew he’d die of starvation.

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