The Tour de Couch is a contest for only the fittest athletes: The one who best completes a series of over 2,000 hours of naps in a little over 20 days wins. Yes, it’s just as difficult as it sounds.
“Steeped in history, tradition, and racing lore, the Tour defines endurance and global sportsmanship.” – some human
“Meow.” – Andre Le Fluff, three time winner of the Tour de Couch
During the Tour, nappers test the limits of endurance. Each stage of the Tour is timed, and every day the winner of each race is celebrated with an award ceremony and prizes from small, expensive cans.
Each napper in the Tour de Couch has a support team, or pillowton, to bolster their nap performance. All members of the team have the goal of assisting their lead napper to win the event. In the Tour, victory is both an individual and team achievement. No napper can win without a great blankie.
The Tour is not without danger. A crash on the couch could leave a napper there for eight or more hours. Not all nappers who begin the Tour will finish it.
The Tour de Couch has several distinct stages:
- A Prologue: the Tour begins with a short individual nap called a Prologue. In this stage, the athletes show off their best nap positions and plan strategies for he rest of the event.
- Flat and rolling stages: In this stage of the tour, nappers remain on the main cushions of the couch, but attempt several roll-overs each day. The best nappers aim to stay in the center of their cushions, well-supported by their pillowton.
- Mountain stages: In these stages, nappers make the arduous climb up to the back of the couch, and undergo a perilous nap session on the highest point of the couch.
- Individual time trials: In a time trial, the athletes compete to see who can take the longest nap.
The winners of each stage wear special colors to show off their napping prowess. Every winner in the Tour de Couch’s history has worn cat fur.
Stay tuned for more coverage of this year’s Tour de Couch.