Dear Thing One:
I know you were at work and then out doing other things that kept you from watching the dog all day. I took the liberty of making a list of all of the canine transgressions that occurred while you were out.
- Ate all the cat food
- Knocked the plant off the shelf
- Ate part of the plant that was knocked off the shelf
- Got cat fur all over the clean laundry
- Pushed all the items off your dresser
- Relocated that jewelry on the night stand
- Opened the cupboard and fished out the bag of catnip
- Demolished the bag of catnip
- Got a claw snagged in your new sweater, leaving a small hole
- Pushed the television remote under the couch
- Played a game with that report you need for work
- Tried to blame everything on the kitty
I trust that you will find some appropriate punishment for the dog.