Ever since Tipsy Nip Organic Catnip Products announced that I was the official Tipsy Nip Tuna Sushi cat, I’ve been preparing for my official duties. I assume that being named the Tipsy Nip Tuna Sushi Cat (TNTSC) is a bit like being crowned Miss America, with flowers, a tiara, parades, speaking appearances, waving, and lots of photo opportunities.
I haven’t discussed this with my sponsors yet, but I will probably eat the flowers I’m given and I’m not ever going to wear a tiara. I can sleep through a parade of any length, and I’ve always been photogenic. However, I don’t assume I am prepared. I have been working hard at gearing up for my spokescat role. Here’s my training to date:
April 10: Announcement of Official TNTSC status is made. I am overcome with emotion and have to spend the next 24 hours on the couch.
April 11: I devour as much Tuna Sushi as I possibly can, and then spend the rest of the day on the couch.
April 12: Nap, eat Tuna Sushi, nap, repeat.
April 13: Eat Tuna Sushi, nap, eat Tuna Sushi, repeat.
April 14: A full day devoted to the couch and eating Tuna Sushi.
April 15: Meet with my accountant to discuss tax deductions for my role as the TNTSC.
That’s it so far. I’ll keep you posted. If you want to ship a few cases to my place, I’ll autograph the jars and return them* to you. http://shop.pupcatbakery.com/product.sc?productId=13
*the jars, not the contents. You understand.