People think cats “just lie around” all day, doing nothing and being lazy. Nothing could be further from the truth. As proof, here is an excerpt from my diary, which outlines the details of one of my more hectic mornings……
I had to stand on Thing One and meow loudly for more than seven minutes today before it got up to feed me. I was forced to resort to some strategically placed stomping to get any real action. I can’t believe that humans with a role model like me can be so lazy that they would rather lounge in bed at 5 AM instead of getting up to open cat food cans.
this is a post-breakfast nap
After being offered some food from a small, expensive can, I felt obliged to ignore the meal in my bowl. I took over the warm spot in bed recently vacated by Thing One and then had to focus on ignoring all the cussing and complaining it was doing. Really, why do you people have cats if you aren’t interested in spoiling us? I decided to snack when Thing Two wasn’t looking.
I stayed in bed for two full naps, as scheduled. By then Things One and Two had started their work routines, and I was free to do secret cat things for a few hours. By the time my classified feline chores were complete, I was exhausted, and barely had time to refuel with a meal and then retire to the couch.
This is a mid-morning nap
Half way between naps number nine and ten, I realized I hadn’t made time in my schedule for a workout. I squeezed in a full-body stretch, a yawn, and a roll-over. This set of core exercises covers aerobics, strength training, and flexibility. I made sure to replenish calories and carbohydrates after that iron man routine.
I awoke with a start when my tummy alarm went off. Time to order lunch!